Do you ever wonder why it seems that so many women in your life have it all together and you just cannot seem to figure it all out?
I do…all the time! Am I the only one that feels this way?
Have you ever had someone ask you “How do you do it all?”
Yes on that one too. I have had people ask me that all too often. Although I respond with, “Somedays are better than others,” my response in my head is…are you crazy?!
Lately, I feel like my life is a juggling act. Sadly, I also feel like I am dropping many of objects I am juggling or I am, altogether, missing out on others.
This is what I have found. We are destroying ourselves and our relationships through 3 things :
How many times have you looked at the other mom in the store? She is all done up, her kids are so well behaved and she looks so relaxed as she is taking her time strolling through the aisles. You feel as you are in a mad dash, your kids are screaming, everyone is looking at you, and you are pretty sure you are going to rip someone’s face off. (It may even be yours.)
The opposite is true, as well. That mom who’s children never look bathed, her kids are throwing a fit in the aisle and she looks as if she hasn’t a care in the world. She looks totally disengaged from her children and all reality.
We as women, wives, and moms compare ourselves to everyone. When will we figure out that what we see is only a glimpse of the other person’s reality. We never see the whole picture and many times we only see what they want us to see.
Many of us live with masks on our lives. What the outside sees is merely a mirage and sometimes even a facade.
I do not believe we all do this on purpose. It is simply a reality. We will never see the full picture of someone else’s life. (I think half the time, I do not even see the full picture of my own life. Just sayin’)
We need to stop comparing ourselves to others. God has us right where we need to be. The only comparison we should be making is ourselves to a holy, righteous God.
God sees our big picture. He knows our reality. He knows our hearts and what goes on behind the mask and the mirage.
Criticism can destroy everything in it’s path.
Criticism is multi-faceted. It is riddled with comparison, expectations, and leads to judgement and condemnation.
It usually stems from comparing ourselves and others to the wrong standard and then we lash out irrationally at those around us. Mainly, our children and our husbands.
Criticism is based on performance. Performance infers an outcome. Today, we have become so performance based that we judge everything according to outcome or results. We define what the outcome should be through our expectation of the performance and through a cultural standard of behavior.
A good outcome must equal a good performance. If I do all the right things, I will have the right outcome and it will look a specific way. Wrong. For example, if you discipline your child in a biblical, godly fashion, your child will never scream and throw a fit in the store. I am sure you are chuckling right now, because we all know that is just not true. But yet, we criticize ourselves or other mom’s for the performance of the said child.
Stop criticizing yourself and others. Instead, let’s speak words of encouragement and life!
Bigger, better, and stronger.
We are always striving to be number one. Everything in this culture breeds competition. We have to have the bigger house (and it has to be spotless on the inside), fastest car, and smartest kids.
Now, do not get me wrong. I believe in healthy competition. As Paul states in 1 Corinthians 9:24, we are to run the race to obtain the prize. But what we have forgotten is that we are not running against our neighbor. We all are running our own race course. Mine looks quite different than yours.
We are not competing against each other. As believers, we are all on the same team. I do not need to try and take out the other racers. But isn’t that exactly what we are doing these days. Instead of competing against one another and tear each other down, let’s build one another up in faith and unity.
Have you ever been to a track meet? Track looks to be a very individual sport. But it is a bit deceiving. Although each athlete is competing in their own race, there are actually team points given. They are running to win their race, but ultimately it is about the team score. They do not “take out” their team members that are “competing” in the same race because they are on the same team.
Stop competing against members of the same team! Run your race to obtain the prize, but remember you are not running the same course as the mom next door.
We all are guilty of comparing ourselves to others, criticizing each other, as well as ourselves, and competing against each other instead of running our own race. In the end it does nothing but destroy our relationships and inevitably destroy ourselves.
Instead, “…let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith;…” Hebrews 12:1b-2a
One last thought…a runner can only keep their pace if they look forward as they run. As soon as they take their eyes off the finish line or the course ahead of them to look at their competitors they lose their pace. Not only can they lose their lead, they could stumble and fall and be completely out of the race.
Blessing to you today as you run the race and throw aside comparison, criticism, and competition and fix your eyes on Jesus!