We all have them. We have expectations for ourselves. Our husbands. Our children. (Especially their behaviors). Everyone in our life we put on our own expectations. The reality is that even people we do not know, we put on our expectations.
We also put expectations on circumstances. We put expectation on the outcome of many different things in our lives. Have you ever had something in your life coming around the corner, say a job, and you have everything completely planned out in your head? Do the plans that you conjure up in your head ever come to fruition?
Mine don’t. Ever.
Unmet expectations lead us down a road of disappointment and unbelief.
Nothing ever goes according to my plans. It took me a lot of years to realize that. I have spent so much time playing different scenarios in my head and getting all excited or worried about all the possibilities only to be disappointed or sometimes nothing even happens, things just continue on as they always have.
It reminds of the movie The Santa Clause. Have you seen it? The step dad, Neil tells of his unbelief in Santa when he was three. All he wanted was a weenie whistle. “Christmas came and no weeny whistle.” It led to disappointment and eventually unbelief. Neil expected that Santa Clause was going to bring him that weenie whistle, but when he woke up on Christmas morning his expectations had not been met. From that point on, he did not believe in Santa.
How often do we do this with God? We have an expectation of how something is going to turn out and instead it unravels before our very eyes. We, then, blame God and start down a road of unbelief. God did not do it like I wanted. or expected. He must be mad at me or He just doesn’t care. That should be a scary place to be.
7 ways to get rid of those expectations once and for all!
Stick to the facts.
Hold on to the truth of the matter. No speculations.
Distinguish between dreaming and planning.
Any sort of dreaming is not a bad thing, but when our dreaming turns into planning or banking on what you are dreaming about we can be left in disbelief because it did not turn out the way we planned.
People are not perfect!
No matter who the person is, they will eventual fail you. When we put our own expectations on someone else odds are they will fail you. Many times they are clueless of the expectations that you put on them. How can they meet something they do not know about? Unmet expectations can be the demise of relationships.
Expectations are selfishness.
Usually, the expectations we have on people or situations are things that we desire. It is our own happiness and well being we are concerned about. We want everything to work out exactly how we want and in our time frame.
Pinpoint where your expectations are coming from.
Everything from our personality to our upbringing can dictate what kind of expectations will spill out in our relationships and circumstances. Ask yourself why do you expect a certain behavior or outcome?
Learn to have no expectation.
Life has to many variables. Don’t bank on a variable. We do not need to know all the details of how our lives will be played out. Make a plan to be flexible. Go with the flow! Enjoy the variables that come your way!
God’s plans are better than mine!
God is a lot more creative than I am. He knows me, my family, and our needs more than I do. He knows it all, the beginning to the end. I do not want to miss out on His blessings by trying to figure out how it should all play out. I just want to enjoy this life and everything He throws my way!
There have been so many events in my life that I basically wasted time trying to figure out all the possibilities and all the little details. I have learned that unmet expectations bring discontentment, frustration, anxiety, and eventually bring a negative attitude and unbelief.
Instead, I have learned to not have expectations and just take things as they come. If disappointment comes my way, I try to figure out why I am disappointed. Usually, it is an expectation that has gone unnoticed.
I have come to the conclusion, that in my life expectations are sin. They become my focus and drive and I downward spiral into cynicism and a pessimistic attitude. I have to repent and turn the other way.
Throw off the expectations!
Are there certain expectations that you place on people? How about in circumstances? Do you know where those expectations come from? I would love to hear from you and the struggles or victories you have in dealing with expectations.